Thursday, November 23, 2006, 20:43 - General, Stories, Jokes/Humor, Zorgoth
On behalf of thenr.net, I'd like to wish you all a happy thanksgiving, and hope you had a gastronomically satisfying and warming day; also hope all of you who caught up with your family and loved ones enjoyed today's feast of a holiday.But, over the years many of us have strewn from the righteous path of Zorgoth, and have forgotten the TRUE meaning of Thanksgiving Day.
I'll elaborate more once the Doctrine of Zorgoth has been released, but it all began the evening after the Sinking of Hallstrom. Nairobi was silent in prayers to Zorgoth and grieving for the death of their King, Motubu. However, through all of this, they remained the still the most prosperous city-state.
So, that night they held a wonderful feast in honor of the lost ones. During said feast, a band of Native Americans, on their latest colonizing expedition stumbled upon the solemn African city-state. The lost travelers made treaty after treaty, breaking each one, but because of their inegenious invention of the bow-and-arrow their armies were unbeatable. Eventually, our fellow Nairobians were pushed off to reservations about the African city-state.
Finally, Zorgoth interfered, and in all his wrath gave the Nairobians the power of lightning. During the great story of 500 BZ (Before Zorgoth), the Nairobians pushed away their Indian adversaries, but of course, they had to treat their guests with respect. So, that night they rejoiced in the greatest feast of the year, making sure to provide more-than-adequate sacrifices to their great Lord Zorgoth, who had saved the beautiful city-state of Nairobi.
From then on, the day came to be known as Zorgoth-Sacrifice day, and as it was adapted by Americans and transfered through several different cultures and dialects, it finally became more commonly referred to as Thanksgiving Day, and the original story was replaced with Native Americans and British Colonists... I don't know how it got so far off.
Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed your Thanksgiving or Zorgoth-Sacrifice Day. And may you have an equally successful Black Friday. (thenr.net dept. stores have a 50% off door-busters special from 4-6 AM).
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Sunday, November 5, 2006, 23:08 - Top Five
Alright, gang, it's time for this month's top five! Yeah, I'm probably as excited as you are, because we continue with the music theme this month.Please join me as I list the top five Radiohead songs, and if you have yet to hear a Radiohead song, hurry before you miss out!
"Karma Police" - OK Computer
"Go to Sleep" - Hail to the Thief
"Black Star" - The Bends
"Pyramid Song" - Amnesiac
"Where I End and You Begin" - Hail to the Thief
Don't see one of your favorites up there? Well then, leave a comment! Or, got a great idea for next month's top five? Leave a comment, or contact me!
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Tuesday, October 31, 2006, 15:46 - General, Stories, ASCII Art Gallery, Jokes/Humor, Zorgoth
So, this is a special entry. Why? Because it's my second entry in a long arse time, and because it's the beginning of a new category at thenr.net and I'm making up for the ASCII animation I missed!
Yes, it's going to be a massive update.
The new category is "Zorgoth" the God that the Kenyan tribes worship, and I've elaborated on that section of the story, organizing the religion and fully developing it. The name of the religion is "The First Order of Zorgoth" or FOOZ. So check out www.thenr.net/zorgoth to see more, I'm also typing up the Doctrine of Zorgoth, which is kind of like their Bible, which dictates the life of a Zorgoth follower telling the story of the beginning of the earth. And make sure to check out all the Zorgoth related entries I post by clicking the "Zorgoth" link under Categories.
But first, my ASCII Animation of October, with a special Halloween theme:
"Happy Halloween!"
Hope you enjoyed that, and sorry I missed it on the ides. Next month will be on time, I promise (hope).
Now next on the list, I will share with you the Fourth Story of the Doctrine of Zorgoth, which explains the TRUE story of Halloween.
-----
The Doctrine of Zorgoth: Book IV
Duke Hallstrom, the newest to ascend to the throne of Veenshire lay discouraged in his bed that night. The future seemed grim; Veenshire was the second most powerful Kenyan city-state, a small island off of mainland Kenya, topped only by Nairobishire, the ascetic, war-driven colony led by King Motubu.
The Duke tossed and turned, fearing that any second now his intellectual metropolis would be toppled by the barbaric Nairboians - when suddenly his nightmare was ended. There in the window appeared Zorgoth, in the form of a goat. Very few people have been blessed with such a zorgasm, but this spiritual enlightenment would set in a series of events from which Kenya will never be the same again.
"Duke Hallstrom," whispered the goat, near the bedstand of the worried Duke.
"My LORD!" The Duke jumped from bed and immediately bowed to the floor. He quickly grabbed the golden cashew which lay hidden under his bed.
"I see you have not forgotten my gift. Remember the terms?"
"Yes, my LORD, I must give it to 'the chosen one'."
"Very well, tomorrow will be the test of your faith to say whether you truly are worthy of such a responsibility. All of the young men of Kenya will row to your humble city-state dressed up as their rendition of my reincarnation, and you must decide who is the chosen one and who are the imposters. To every imposter you must give a fake, candied cashew, but to the chosen one you must award him the coveted golden cashew."
"But of course, I will not fail you. But my LOR-" and Zorgoth was gone just as quickly as he had came.
Duke Hallstrom didn't get any sleep that night, planning how he was to decipher the fake ones from the real. It was an awfully important task, for the chosen one was prophecized to be Zorgoth's reincarnation on earth, and he was destined to set the world free of its evil. The Duke eyed the cashew, which seemed to wink back in a sparkle, and before too long tomorrow became today.
His maid walked in for the daily wake up ritual, "Sir, it is October 31, seven o'cl - Oh, I see you've awaken!"
"My maid, I need you to get the palace ready we will be hosting several guests tonight - it's going to be a short notice party, but believe me there will be plenty of guests." He walked over to his dresser, golden cashew in hand, and worked his way into his Duke-like clothing. The day was October 31st, the end of the Kenyan calendar, and what a way to end the year.
Minutes turned into hours, which drained away the day, and suddenly it was nighttime. Veenshire was alive with lights and decorations for new year's eve, but this year things were going to be a little different. Hallstrom watched from his highest tower, spotting all the boats clogging up his docks with ambitious young men, each claiming possession to the golden cashew. He sighed and made his way downstairs.
Of course, the party was top notch, Veenshire was known for its intelect, and experienced jesters, but suddenly the clock struck ten and Hallstrom decided it was time for the decision.
All the men gathered in a line across his palace, as Duke Hallstrom paced back and forth, deciding who was the imposter. In one hand he held a bag of candied cashews, and in the other he held the golden cashew, now glistened with his anxiety.
"But, who could it be?" he thought to himself. This was no time for mistakes, he couldn't fail Zorgoth's second test of faith. But, it suddenly struck him.
A-ha!
"Ladies and gentlemen," he began, "tonight, I shall be handing out only candied cashews for no one here is of the stature and wit of the chosen one. I can sense the weakness in your eyes; this world is not yet ready for the chosen one, perhaps our generation will not be blessed with his presence, but I must uphold my duties to Zorgoth!" And so Duke Hallstrom distributed candied cashews to the many disappointed Kenyans as they shuffled out of his palace. However, one man, King Motubu was most displeased, and he voyed revenge upon his exit.
Duke Hallstrom had more important things to fret over, though. So, that night the wisest man in all of Kenya went to bed, with the golden cashew still by his side, and Zorgoth again came to him this time as a goat-man centaur. "Your sagacity continues to impress me, Duke," the centaur-God cooed.
"My LORD, why thank you!" Hallstrom responded, happy to know he had passed.
And so, that night Zorgoth rewarded him with the meaning of life, but the Duke promised never to share it with another human being lest he be the chosen one. So, there it was, the Duke had the cashew and the meaning of life, only to share with the chosen one, but how will he know when and who?
The next morning Duke Hallstrom awoke to a worried town. He scanned the horizon to see it was tainted with a dark cloud of smoke. His city was burning! Who was responsible for such a terror?
It soon be came clear that late last night King Motubu rallied his navy to get vengeance upon the Duke, and now it was his climax.
The palace doors swung open with a blunt noise. All the maids and workers were taken as slaves, as Motubu and his band of soldiers moved vigorously up the stairs, until they finally reached the high tower of Duke Hallstrom.
"Good evening, Duke," Motubu snickered in the sharpest of tones.
"Your Majesty, please, I beg of you, spare my city!" Duke Hallstrom fell to his knees in desperation. Motubu and his men surrounded him, and similarly surrounded his city.
"Give me one good reason," the King responded curtly.
And so, with only the hope of faith, the Duke prayed to Zorgoth, who watched intently from above. Alas, the clever Duke constructed a response, "I will give you the golden cashew if you spare us!"
Zorgoth was stricken, the Duke had promised him to give it only to the chosen one, and Motubu was by no means the chosen one. But the merciful God let this slip slide, deciding to punish only if the Duke made a second mistake.
To this request the King answered, "What do I need that for? I'll merely rob it from you when I sack your city," he finished with a smirk.
"Perhaps, I have a better plan. I'll share with you the meaning of life if you spare my city!" The Duke yelled in desperation.
The poor Duke. In the distance began a horrible rumble as the earth shook and houses toppled. Motubu and his men looked around confounded by the situation, and the Duke looked up towards the sky, now aware of his mistake.
Desperate men resort to desperate measures, and this was the Duke's second mistake, so before he could share the meaning of life to someone other than the chosen one, Zorgoth made sure to prevent it and punished the Duke. He sunk the island city-state of Veenshire, and with it went the golden cashew and the meaning of life, along with its Duke at the bottom of the ocean, the only mortal to possess the two. The island and all of its inhabitants were merely stricken off the map.
So, the tradition continued, every October 31st citizens would dress up as their rendition of the reincarnation of Zorgoth and go out hunting for the golden cashew, or go house to house to pick up candied cashews - but the chosen one is still to be born. The holiday came to be called Duke Hallstrom of Veenshire Day, but of course this was too long, and because of a combination of cultural diffusion and laziness the holiday was shortened to Hallo'veen Day.
...But of course, after the V Restriction Act all the V's used outside of the Doctrine of Zorgoth were replaced with W's and so the holiday then read as "Halloween Day", which stands today.
------
*Please note, that today our society has been plagued by businesses and this strictly religious event has now turned into a commercial holiday. The term "trick or treat" is merely a Hershey's propoganda slogan used to raise candy profits. Yes, I know the number of true Zorgoth followers is falling, but hopefully together we can bring back to the true spirit of the First Order of Zorgoth.*
Well, hope you all have a great halloween! Be safe trick or treating, or if you're not going this year then be safe eating the left over candy at home!
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Sunday, October 29, 2006, 11:21 - General, Web/Graphic Design, Monthly Quote
Wait, I left?Well I guess you could say that. It's been a VERY long while, you're probably wondering whether this site still exists or not.
It does, sorry.
So, for my return, I've managed to crop out a nice quote of the month for you all, just to really let you know I've returned.
And this month's quote:
"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible."
-George Burns (1896 - 1996)
**Keep in mind that quotes posted on thenr.net do not reflect the views of the webmaster, and are subsequently the works and credit of those who first coined them.**
Yeah, I needed to put that one up after I got sued for the Machiavelli quote - apparently I didn't pay sufficient royalties to his great-great-great-great niece. It's a big deal these days.
Hey, wait, remember www.thenr.net/mun ? The online model un portion of thenr.net? Well, it seems I still can't come up with a good banner, and until I do, the forums can't open up for registration, so please email me with any ideas or post in the forums.
I hope you haven't forgotten me!
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Tuesday, October 10, 2006, 15:01 - General, Announcements, Web/Graphic Design
Okay, so in recent news the Kenya Story directory has been finished. This means you can visit up on your favorite Kenya Story by the following link: www.thenr.net/kenyastory . It's a great resource for a quick link to the stories, or you can always visit the kenya stories through the links on the right hand column of this site.In other news, thenr forums (www.thenr.net/forums) - yes, they were started way back with the site - only has a total of 13 members. Please consider joining and posting to help the site grow and make my dream of an active forum come true! Once we reach the 20 member mark I will be appointing more moderators, so if you start now and are active, there's a good chance you will ascend into moderatorship. And, on the forums I started a Kenya Story roleplay thread, isn't that exciting? Give it a shot at: http://thenr.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=39 .
Also, keep in mind that this month's ASCII animation shall be coming out on the Ides of October. For a reference the ides of every month fall on the 13th except March, May, July, and October, when it falls on the 15th.
Thanks for visiting, and don't forget to give www.thenr.net/forums a try!
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Thursday, October 5, 2006, 17:18 - Top Five
Yes, it's October fifth, which means it's time for thenr's top five of the month! This month we shall be featuring the top five Beatles Songs.Hold your horse(s):
A Day in the Life - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band
Day Tripper - Past Masters II
Eleanor Rigby - Revolver
For No One - Revolver
Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
Well there you have it, this month's top five. Thanks for visiting and supporting thenr.net - locally supported and operated for over 25 years*!
*location and operation years may vary.
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Monday, October 2, 2006, 16:35 - General, Announcements, Web/Graphic Design
First off, hope you have a great October, and had a swell September. There are some updates coming to thenr soon (I know you're excited)! First off, there may be a new page coming here about RAS-berry (for more info visit www.myspace.com/rasberryband), and also a page for the Kenya Story, with the stories all listed in chronological order for a quick reference (look for www.thenr.net/kenyastory soon). And the third update will be a Model UN forum! Yes, Model UN ONLINE - isn't that exciting? The forums are almost done, I just need to add a few finishing touches.So, look out for those updates soon! Expect them to be done by this Sunday, as for the RAS-berry page, it is questionable.
If your eyes venture off to the right you'll also notice two new categories "Top Five" and "Monthly Quote". Thenr's first monthly quote racked up a lot of comments, so I'm glad it's successful thus far, and watch out for the Top Five coming in only three days!
By the way, Packers are playing the Eagles tonight - Las Vegas Line is set at Eagles by 11. GO PACKERS!
Thanks for visiting.
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