Friday, June 15, 2007, 17:10 - ASCII Art Gallery
It's the fifteenth, and hopefully that's the Ides of June! If not, it is now.This month's ASCII Animation will be featuring the newest addition to the thenr.net family: the ultimate, thenr.net, time-keeping machine!
"Tick, Tock"
Thanks to our friends at Rolex for providing us with such a fine mechanism. Good luck on exams, and hope June treats you well.
[ add comment ] | permalink
Thursday, March 15, 2007, 21:06 - ASCII Art Gallery
So, we're back in the grove with the animations! This month I've got a special animation for you all. But first, let's take a moment of silence for one of our site's best friends: Julius Caesar. On a lighter note, best of luck to all of you who have participated in bracket contests for March Madness.The following is a tribute to Julius Caesar and March Madness, I call it "Ballin'!":
"Ballin'!"
That thing goes on for a long time, the first to witness the end of the animation wins a golden cashew.
Also, the Kenya Story III is coming out on ST. PATRICK'S DAY! THAT'S IN TWO DAYS! Get psyched.
[ 3 comments ] ( 19 views ) | permalink
Thursday, February 15, 2007, 19:02 - General, Web/Graphic Design, ASCII Art Gallery
Welcome, again, as you all probably know by now it's the Ides of February today, so that means we're resuming our longest running tradition of the ASCII Animation!Today I'd like to share with you all my latest creation, the official Thenr Fishie. Our water-dwelling little friend here will soon sweep billboards across America as the fish heads our thenr.net's newest wave of campaign ads. Or, at least something like that.
"The Official Thenr Fish Mascot"
You're probably wondering how I mastered the art of ASCII in so little time - well, it's a secret, so stick around for more.
[ 1 comment ] ( 15 views ) | permalink
Tuesday, October 31, 2006, 15:46 - General, Stories, ASCII Art Gallery, Jokes/Humor, Zorgoth
So, this is a special entry. Why? Because it's my second entry in a long arse time, and because it's the beginning of a new category at thenr.net and I'm making up for the ASCII animation I missed!
Yes, it's going to be a massive update.
The new category is "Zorgoth" the God that the Kenyan tribes worship, and I've elaborated on that section of the story, organizing the religion and fully developing it. The name of the religion is "The First Order of Zorgoth" or FOOZ. So check out www.thenr.net/zorgoth to see more, I'm also typing up the Doctrine of Zorgoth, which is kind of like their Bible, which dictates the life of a Zorgoth follower telling the story of the beginning of the earth. And make sure to check out all the Zorgoth related entries I post by clicking the "Zorgoth" link under Categories.
But first, my ASCII Animation of October, with a special Halloween theme:
"Happy Halloween!"
Hope you enjoyed that, and sorry I missed it on the ides. Next month will be on time, I promise (hope).
Now next on the list, I will share with you the Fourth Story of the Doctrine of Zorgoth, which explains the TRUE story of Halloween.
-----
The Doctrine of Zorgoth: Book IV
Duke Hallstrom, the newest to ascend to the throne of Veenshire lay discouraged in his bed that night. The future seemed grim; Veenshire was the second most powerful Kenyan city-state, a small island off of mainland Kenya, topped only by Nairobishire, the ascetic, war-driven colony led by King Motubu.
The Duke tossed and turned, fearing that any second now his intellectual metropolis would be toppled by the barbaric Nairboians - when suddenly his nightmare was ended. There in the window appeared Zorgoth, in the form of a goat. Very few people have been blessed with such a zorgasm, but this spiritual enlightenment would set in a series of events from which Kenya will never be the same again.
"Duke Hallstrom," whispered the goat, near the bedstand of the worried Duke.
"My LORD!" The Duke jumped from bed and immediately bowed to the floor. He quickly grabbed the golden cashew which lay hidden under his bed.
"I see you have not forgotten my gift. Remember the terms?"
"Yes, my LORD, I must give it to 'the chosen one'."
"Very well, tomorrow will be the test of your faith to say whether you truly are worthy of such a responsibility. All of the young men of Kenya will row to your humble city-state dressed up as their rendition of my reincarnation, and you must decide who is the chosen one and who are the imposters. To every imposter you must give a fake, candied cashew, but to the chosen one you must award him the coveted golden cashew."
"But of course, I will not fail you. But my LOR-" and Zorgoth was gone just as quickly as he had came.
Duke Hallstrom didn't get any sleep that night, planning how he was to decipher the fake ones from the real. It was an awfully important task, for the chosen one was prophecized to be Zorgoth's reincarnation on earth, and he was destined to set the world free of its evil. The Duke eyed the cashew, which seemed to wink back in a sparkle, and before too long tomorrow became today.
His maid walked in for the daily wake up ritual, "Sir, it is October 31, seven o'cl - Oh, I see you've awaken!"
"My maid, I need you to get the palace ready we will be hosting several guests tonight - it's going to be a short notice party, but believe me there will be plenty of guests." He walked over to his dresser, golden cashew in hand, and worked his way into his Duke-like clothing. The day was October 31st, the end of the Kenyan calendar, and what a way to end the year.
Minutes turned into hours, which drained away the day, and suddenly it was nighttime. Veenshire was alive with lights and decorations for new year's eve, but this year things were going to be a little different. Hallstrom watched from his highest tower, spotting all the boats clogging up his docks with ambitious young men, each claiming possession to the golden cashew. He sighed and made his way downstairs.
Of course, the party was top notch, Veenshire was known for its intelect, and experienced jesters, but suddenly the clock struck ten and Hallstrom decided it was time for the decision.
All the men gathered in a line across his palace, as Duke Hallstrom paced back and forth, deciding who was the imposter. In one hand he held a bag of candied cashews, and in the other he held the golden cashew, now glistened with his anxiety.
"But, who could it be?" he thought to himself. This was no time for mistakes, he couldn't fail Zorgoth's second test of faith. But, it suddenly struck him.
A-ha!
"Ladies and gentlemen," he began, "tonight, I shall be handing out only candied cashews for no one here is of the stature and wit of the chosen one. I can sense the weakness in your eyes; this world is not yet ready for the chosen one, perhaps our generation will not be blessed with his presence, but I must uphold my duties to Zorgoth!" And so Duke Hallstrom distributed candied cashews to the many disappointed Kenyans as they shuffled out of his palace. However, one man, King Motubu was most displeased, and he voyed revenge upon his exit.
Duke Hallstrom had more important things to fret over, though. So, that night the wisest man in all of Kenya went to bed, with the golden cashew still by his side, and Zorgoth again came to him this time as a goat-man centaur. "Your sagacity continues to impress me, Duke," the centaur-God cooed.
"My LORD, why thank you!" Hallstrom responded, happy to know he had passed.
And so, that night Zorgoth rewarded him with the meaning of life, but the Duke promised never to share it with another human being lest he be the chosen one. So, there it was, the Duke had the cashew and the meaning of life, only to share with the chosen one, but how will he know when and who?
The next morning Duke Hallstrom awoke to a worried town. He scanned the horizon to see it was tainted with a dark cloud of smoke. His city was burning! Who was responsible for such a terror?
It soon be came clear that late last night King Motubu rallied his navy to get vengeance upon the Duke, and now it was his climax.
The palace doors swung open with a blunt noise. All the maids and workers were taken as slaves, as Motubu and his band of soldiers moved vigorously up the stairs, until they finally reached the high tower of Duke Hallstrom.
"Good evening, Duke," Motubu snickered in the sharpest of tones.
"Your Majesty, please, I beg of you, spare my city!" Duke Hallstrom fell to his knees in desperation. Motubu and his men surrounded him, and similarly surrounded his city.
"Give me one good reason," the King responded curtly.
And so, with only the hope of faith, the Duke prayed to Zorgoth, who watched intently from above. Alas, the clever Duke constructed a response, "I will give you the golden cashew if you spare us!"
Zorgoth was stricken, the Duke had promised him to give it only to the chosen one, and Motubu was by no means the chosen one. But the merciful God let this slip slide, deciding to punish only if the Duke made a second mistake.
To this request the King answered, "What do I need that for? I'll merely rob it from you when I sack your city," he finished with a smirk.
"Perhaps, I have a better plan. I'll share with you the meaning of life if you spare my city!" The Duke yelled in desperation.
The poor Duke. In the distance began a horrible rumble as the earth shook and houses toppled. Motubu and his men looked around confounded by the situation, and the Duke looked up towards the sky, now aware of his mistake.
Desperate men resort to desperate measures, and this was the Duke's second mistake, so before he could share the meaning of life to someone other than the chosen one, Zorgoth made sure to prevent it and punished the Duke. He sunk the island city-state of Veenshire, and with it went the golden cashew and the meaning of life, along with its Duke at the bottom of the ocean, the only mortal to possess the two. The island and all of its inhabitants were merely stricken off the map.
So, the tradition continued, every October 31st citizens would dress up as their rendition of the reincarnation of Zorgoth and go out hunting for the golden cashew, or go house to house to pick up candied cashews - but the chosen one is still to be born. The holiday came to be called Duke Hallstrom of Veenshire Day, but of course this was too long, and because of a combination of cultural diffusion and laziness the holiday was shortened to Hallo'veen Day.
...But of course, after the V Restriction Act all the V's used outside of the Doctrine of Zorgoth were replaced with W's and so the holiday then read as "Halloween Day", which stands today.
------
*Please note, that today our society has been plagued by businesses and this strictly religious event has now turned into a commercial holiday. The term "trick or treat" is merely a Hershey's propoganda slogan used to raise candy profits. Yes, I know the number of true Zorgoth followers is falling, but hopefully together we can bring back to the true spirit of the First Order of Zorgoth.*
Well, hope you all have a great halloween! Be safe trick or treating, or if you're not going this year then be safe eating the left over candy at home!
[ 4 comments ] ( 30 views ) | permalink
Wednesday, September 13, 2006, 21:10 - General, Web/Graphic Design, ASCII Art Gallery
Yes, it's the ides of September! Although a tad late in the day, I shall deliver, as promised, this month's ASCII Animation.In light of recent obsessions I give you Kirby! (in ASCII Animation Action - watch him show off his moves)
"Kirby!"
Yes, this month's quite simple. Just kirby and his rotating punch. It's a short one, much like the birdy I started it all out with. Now it's back to the drawing board for October's animation.
Don't forget, the Kenyan Story Q and A is going on. Please, ask any question's you've got - leave a comment or email them (contact me link). Seriously, answering questions is more fun than you think. If I get enough questions, I'll pile them into one entry and publish the interview.
Also, that stats post of August is still on its way. Thenr's stat counter for September broke down for about a week, so this month's statistics aren't so accurate - but August is fine. And don't forget that at any time if you want to check up on thenr's basic stats (entries, words used, comments, most commented entries... etc) you can always click on the "Stats" link and have a look. Those stats are exact, so no worries about that one.
Goodnight. (o')
[ 4 comments ] ( 27 views ) | permalink
Sunday, August 13, 2006, 15:01 - Announcements, ASCII Art Gallery, Jokes/Humor
Sorry it's been a while since my last entry, but I've been brewing up something big, and now since it's the ides of August, and you know what that means - ASCII TIME! Followed by the new contest I've been brewing.Yes, that's right.
Now on this month's animation I may have gotten a bit carried away, but I recently saw the meatrix (yet again, I almost forgot that cartoon existed) and well I knew I had to recreate something about it.
Here it goes:
"Matrix Style"
With that said it's time for our NEWEST CONTEST:
This baby will have a matrix theme, as for the recent ASCII animation. I have created two pages the blue pill page and the red pill page, you have the choice of taking either one, and if you want to cheat, then you can take both. Anyway, I'm taking orders now of which page (the blue pill or the red pill) will get more visits. Each page has a unique visit counter installed on it so you can check the stats for yourself. So leave a comment with your guess in it - blue pill or red pill, which will get more visitors?
With that said, are you going to take:
the blue pill - and stay in this false world of golden cashews and victorious irishmen
OR
the red pill - and see the horrible truth
... one pill, two pill, red pill, blue pill ...
[ 5 comments ] ( 41 views ) | permalink
Wednesday, July 26, 2006, 21:54 - Announcements, Web/Graphic Design, ASCII Art Gallery
Lately, I realized how cool ASCII Art is! No, I'm not asian, in the social sense of the word. I found this great site called asciimator.net - don't worry it's not match for thenr.Anyway, I've decided that on the ides of every month I shall publish my very own ASCII animation. For July it's going to be a tad late. I gave ASCII Art it's own category, so if you go under categories on the right hand side and click on "ASCII Art Gallery" you can see all the animation articles I've entered.
Anyway, here goes the animation for the month of July of 2006. I call it go, birdy go:
"Go, Birdy Go!"
Yeah, a bit unoriginal, because it comes from asciimator's banner, but it was so cool, I had to have one!
Look out for my next animation coming out the ides of August (August 13th)!
[ 3 comments ] ( 31 views ) | permalink
